A cry for help

DISCLAIMER - I am not doing this for attention. The purpose of my blog is to express how I feel and that’s exactly what I am doing. 

so half sem of uni is over, mid term tests have acted as a reality check and here i am, questioning the choices i made when i was applying for university. 

You know what’s annoying? when you finish high school and people tell you that ‘go, choose the course you want’. If only it was that simple. Me being the indecisive person I am, decided to go with the most common field out there. ENGINEERING. I always told myself, I like this course, and I’ll enjoy it. 

Mid terms happen, but turns out life didn’t work out right then. People told me that ‘it’s ok it’s just the midterms. once they are done you won’t doubt your major’. Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, looking forward to not waking up tomorrow because I do NOT want to do this anymore.

I am sick and tired of people telling me that ‘Vanshika, you’re not a quitter. You have had these moment before in the start of IB. It’s just another one of those moments’. 

Honestly, this time it isn’t. 

It feels too real, everyone around me will always be 10 times better than I am, and I don’t have a second to breathe or a minute of peaceful sleep. I get a sickening feeling in my stomach when I wake up every morning, and it isn’t about exams anymore. 

Welcome to university, I guess.